Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Spring: a Welcome Reprieve from Grief

There is just something about the return of the sun and warmer temperatures for those recovering from the loss of a loved one. Perhaps it is those therapeutic walks in the sunshine. Perhaps it is the longer days of sunlight. Or perhaps it is the new life in the green shoots peeking out from under last fall’s decaying leaves, or in the noisy chatter of all the birds. But spring is definitely a relief…I know it was for me after losing my wife of 30+ years to cancer in January of 2005.

One of my strong recommendations is to find a means to get away from where you live, and where that loved one also lived, oh so recently. I took a sabbatical for 2-months. I know what you must be thinking—it must be nice to be a college professor! But there are many ways to achieve a low-cost getaway. For instance, live out of a suitcase in a friend’s spare room for a few weeks. Use that time 1) to get away from all those reminders of her (I am writing from a widower’s perspective), 2) to get out into nature (hopefully you can find a creation-accessible spot—in most towns there are great nature trails and parks, whether right downtown or nearby), and 3) to draw near to God.

As I describe in my book, “Transforming the Valley of Grief” (Xulon Press, also available on Amazon.com), block memory of Scripture was a huge help to me—especially the 23rd and 57th Psalms. And those nature walks were amazing. It is there that God met with me and healed (to a large degree) my wounded soul. He used nature and His Word like a defibrillator to stop my spastic, grieving heart, and restart it again with a more normal rhythm. God is good. You need to rediscover that for yourself, and a getaway is a potentially powerful way to experience Him for yourself. I know…I was there…where you may be right now…in the Valley of Grief. And He met me there! “The Lord is my shepherd…He restores my soul…He leads me in paths of righteousness…” And he transforms Valleys of Grief!